Dealing with Anger

Daily Bible Reading – Ephesians 1-4

Today’s Key Passage – Ephesians 4:25-32


Everyone gets angry.  Events unfold that make us feel anger.  People say things to us or about us that make us feel anger.  Feeling angry at some degree or another is basically unavoidable, but how we deal with that anger is what really defines us.  When it comes to dealing with anger, we have a few different paths we can take.  We can let the anger overtake us causing us to explode in a fit of emotion.  Obviously, this is not the way to go.  We can sit on our anger and bottle it up inside, which will lead to bitterness.  This bitterness will eventually lead to hatred if gone unchecked.  This too, is not the way to go.  Paul tells us in today’s key passage that the best way to effectively deal with anger is to deal with it immediately in a way that builds relationships instead of breaking them.  When someone makes you feel anger, do not blow up at them and say things you do not really mean to hurt them.  Do not just walk away from the situation stewing with anger, as this bitterness will eventually start to wear you down.  The best course of action is to talk to the person that caused you anger immediately.  Explain the situation IN LOVE.  Express how you feel about the situation without allowing the situation to escalate.  Try to find some common ground with the person, and try to find a way to alleviate the anger.

Of course, all of this is much easier said than done.  So how do we really accomplish all of this?  Practically speaking, how can we begin to start dealing with our anger in a healthy way instead of a harmful way?  Like everything else in this life, the answer is found in Jesus Christ.  At the first feelings of anger towards a person, immediately remind yourself that God made this person exactly as he is.  Remind yourself that God loves this person exactly as much as He loves you.  Remind yourself that this person is one of God’s children…just as you are.  In addition, remember that God has forgiven everything you have ever done.  By His grace, he has forgiven and forgotten all of your past indiscretions regardless of what they were.  He does not hold a grudge against you.  If He is able to forgive you for the worst thing you have ever done through His Son Jesus Christ, surely the least you can do is forgive this person for what he did.  Pray for God to help you to forgive this person, and to help you feel love for this person.  Finally, talk to the person calmly about the situation.  These practical steps have helped me start to deal with anger in a much more productive way.  For me, it becomes a lot harder to be angry with someone after I go through these steps above.  When I think of Christ first, the severity of the situation always begins to decrease and my anger goes along with it.  I pray that you will try these things the next time anger arises in your life, and I hope that in those situations you can find the strength to be a peacemaker.


During your Bible reading today, what “key passages” stood out to you?  Leave a comment below to share what God is showing you about His Word today.

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May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you today.


Posted on December 4, 2012, in 10 - Ephesians and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. This is all fine & dandy but what if you were willing to take these steps & the other person would either ignore you laugh in your face about it or just completely lie about things. This other person I was able to forgive & was willing to do anything to repair the friendship but now the silence & I feel so angry. This person infiltrated my family & now my step son won’t even talk to me nor his father. She got her children to stop talking to me. It is just the worst thing ever. I have gone through the whole Jesus forgave me thing but for some reason I am becoming bitter. I try to pray about it & whatever but now I am just done!! I am at the point where I do not care at all for this woman & she can just stay completely away from me. It is getting worse by the day. I am also dealing with other issues so maybe that is magnifying it. So what can I do when the person won’t even talk about it or when they were finally backed into a corner & had to they even lied about things? What can I do? I am very sinful right now. very angry & starting to become bitter.

    • Hi Shelia. I know it can be really difficult when other people do things to us that seem so wrong, and there are times when it seems impossible to forgive and impossible not to react to them in a sinful way. But I have also seen and heard many testimonies of people forgiving others for the most vile things imaginable. They do this, not by their own strength, but by the power of Christ living inside of them. In our own strength, none of us have the power to truly forgive others, but the One that lives inside of us does! Please don’t gloss over the fact that Jesus forgives each one of us for everything we have ever done the moment we put our faith and our trust in Him and declare Him the Lord of our lives. When I stop and think about all of the things I have ever done, and then I realize that Jesus not only forgave me, but died on a cross in order to restore my relationship with the Father, it becomes pretty hard for me to hold a grudge against someone else, regardless what they did. My advice to you in this situation would be, first and foremost, to thank God for his saving grace through His Son Jesus Christ. Take some time today to truly praise Him for what He did for YOU. Then surrender your entire life to His care – including the hurt and pain that has been caused in this situation. Surrender the situation to His will, knowing that He is a loving Father that will take care of you completely no matter what anyone else tries to ever do to you. Finally, to battle the bitterness that you are feeling toward the other person, try praying for her. Try praying not just for God to change her, but try praying for God to bless her. This might sound really hard to do, but it is possible when we are living in the Spirit and not the flesh. Check out Matthew 6:14-15, Luke 6:27-38, and Romans 12:9-21. These passage always help me, and I pray they will help you too.

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